Laughing at a Military Enlistment by Garst Michael & Imholt Timothy

Author:Garst, Michael & Imholt, Timothy [Garst, Michael]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2014-07-31T07:00:00+00:00

Lizards

Once again, the Task Force found itself deployed to the wonderful world of the Middle East. For anyone who has been there, they all know what a true gem this area of the world is. A true must visit on the travel circuit.

You know, join the military, travel to exotic lands, study foreign culture, and try to not get killed by the crazies that live there.

Wonderful things to see while traveling the Middle East are the endless sand. Think of this as a massive freaking beach that never ends, it goes on…and on…and on…the wonderful sand storms that will blot out the sun for hours at a time. The local wild life is the best part. Massive sized spiders that will rot the skin around the bite site. Camels that can spit much further than you can imagine and with an ungodly amount of goo, then there are the ever-present flies.

When I mention flies, I mean flies everywhere. They would get into everything. Go everywhere. It was to the point where a person would have to eat while sitting under bug netting so the person would not end up getting a spork full of flies along with the food. To say they were thick is a total understatement.

But just about everywhere you stepped were these lizards. These things would make themselves at home under the tracks, tents or everything else that offered shade and a semblance of water retention or draining. It was debated that the absolute worst place for one of the lizards to show themselves was under the palettes used as the field shower base. Seriously, when a person was taking a shower and one of those damn things would come out from between the boards and run over someone’s foot. You could always tell when that happened, as a high-pitched scream and a boatload of cussing rang through the camp in the middle of the night.

For one person, one of those late night critter crawls was the final straw. Specialist Hunter (not the real name of course), had finally just had enough of those damn lizards. He made it his mission to find and kill all of them that he could. The added bonus for him, in his culture, lizards were also considered food. He set out to clean out his camps compound of all the lizards as well as have some damn good grub..

So one afternoon, Specialist Hunter was seen running full out through the compound screaming words in several different languages each of which, we are sure, would not be appropriate for small readers or members of the Air Force. It took a few minutes to realize that not only was Specialist. Hunter chasing a lizard that was about a foot long (not counting the tail), but he had his tribal knife, which was also about a foot long.

Specialist Hunter chased this damn lizard all over the compound. Through the common tent, around the headquarters vehicles, he even low crawled under one of the Bradley’s after this damn thing.

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